lemme-holla-at-you:

asunsetdream:

shotofpatr0n:

A friend is someone who will hide behind a snow penis to throw up snow jizz while you’re ferociously hugging it.

I’m so done with this site

lmaoo . I need someone like this

dulect:

gf: babe come over

me: i can’t my house is on fire

gf: i’m horny and wanna suck your dic..

me:image




graffeti:

me and my brother were fighting and he grabs his phone and randomly calls a number and he says “is this the dog pound? because my sister is the biggest bitch”



Anonymous asked:
One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?

deadinmagazines:

stripperina:

Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.

image

Oh snap




skookumthesamoyed:

vanyalli:

Sometimes my dog thinks he’s a child.

Mommy I saw a spider!!!


comfortedalloy4:

sezja:

gotothemattresses:

thefrogman:

In Soviet Russia, kitten adopts YOU.

You can’t possibly say no to that.

"I HAVE SELECTED MY HUMAN. WE CAN NOW LEAVE THIS PLACE.  HUMAN.  SIGN THE REQUIRED PAPERWORK."

so cute

alecstasy:

when you’re lying in bed trying to fall asleep but suddenly remember you have homework that’s due tomorrow

image

(Source: alecstasy)