gf: babe come over
me: i can’t my house is on fire
gf: i’m horny and wanna suck your dic..
me and my brother were fighting and he grabs his phone and randomly calls a number and he says “is this the dog pound? because my sister is the biggest bitch”
One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?
when you’re lying in bed trying to fall asleep but suddenly remember you have homework that’s due tomorrow